12.23.2009

The Lost Week


One would think that a week without internet would yield a blog post full of anger, frustration and news.

Alas, I have none of those to share with you. I do, however, have some thoughts that have no place to be filed.

You see, I was thinking about self-esteem...self-image...whatever. My sis Cathy wrote about how no matter how thin and beautiful everyone says she is (and she really is), there is nothing about herself she likes. She sees no value, she knows that only her husband calls her beautiful and meant it, and maybe anyone else who ever gave her compliments only did so to get something out of it. I disagree, but that's not why I'm writing.

There is, in fact, something I agree with. You see, it doesn't matter how many times our family says we're beautiful, gorgeous, smart, funny, any positive quality whatsoever...it really sort of doesn't feel believable. I mean, they're your family so it's expected for them to give you biased opinions of you. As far as the husband goes, well yeah you'd kind of also expect him to call you gorgeous and beautiful, it's his job lol. It's not really that one is fishing for compliments or is so insecure about oneself that the need for reassurance is overwhelming. Not at all.

All I'm saying is that, it's nice when someone who has nothing to gain nor the obligation to call you beautiful, gorgeous or any other positive names lets you know that's what he thinks about you. Because, for some unreasonable reason, you take unbiased comments seriously and they boost your day to new heights. I can list here and make a list of thing I hate about myself, and trust, there's plenty. Physically and on the inside too, I'm rather screwed up. What I like about myself? Physically...probably hair and eyes. Boobs are pretty up there on my like list as well. On the inside? I guess I like that I still have that side of me that loves to spoil others, just for the sake of spoiling them. That I still care more than I should, and love more than others deserve. I don't judge others, no matter how outrageous their behavior/crusades/goals, because...well..come on now, who the hell am *I* to judge? I thought so.

So yeah...here's to self confidence Wendesday and all the shitty things we think about ourselves. Like the world doesn't bring us down already, now we give it a little extra help ripping our hearts out and blending them with delicious soy milk and mocha java chips.

"To wish you were someone else, is to waste the person you are."

1 comment: