I am a living being.
Few things escape me. Even fewer things surprise me anymore.
That being said...
Days like today sweep me off my feet. It's a new beginning in such a small step. When one is able to not, for even a second, miss what once we thought eternally embedded in our brain...it's a liberating feeling. It's almost like being on a high, to realize there is a bright light shining a few feet from my eyes and for once, it 's at reach. It is nothing that can be purchased or bribed into achieving. It is nothing I can find by desperately clinging to crumbs of affection or convenience friendships. All I had to do...was let go. Let go to what hurt me. Say 'enough' to those draining my energy. To stop wasting positive vibes with those that chose to dispose of my feelings and caring nature instead of saying a simple 'thanks' every now and then.
The first days were tough...today I felt the chain break. I felt the cycle deflate and disappear. Whoever in my life truly loves and cares for me, also wants me to be happy. If this is what I have to do to be happy, you will understand and be proud of me. My life will not be limited by my own insecurities. I am not perfect, and that's okay. I'm not exotic or petite, but I am beautiful in many other ways you can't buy. I am not a brilliant mind...but I am an active one, an open one and that, too, is worth more than I gave it credit for before. Once I say 'I love you', even if it's not romantically, you will have me for life. My love, my help, my heart....forever. I will cry with you, build your new house with a smile on my face, help you change a flat tire or even just sit and shoot the shit every now and then.
But, with this change, only one thing I have to say to you. I am not begging. The 'me' that begged for a friendship, for a hug, for a few words, for your affection is gone. I'll kindly and gladly step away. Life is good. New friends and old are valuable gifts. I, too, am a gift. Up to you how you want me from now on...all up to you.
I am a woman. I am a living being. I am your equal. Look me in the eyes, tell me the truth.
Few things escape me. Even fewer things surprise me anymore.
That being said...
Days like today sweep me off my feet. It's a new beginning in such a small step. When one is able to not, for even a second, miss what once we thought eternally embedded in our brain...it's a liberating feeling. It's almost like being on a high, to realize there is a bright light shining a few feet from my eyes and for once, it 's at reach. It is nothing that can be purchased or bribed into achieving. It is nothing I can find by desperately clinging to crumbs of affection or convenience friendships. All I had to do...was let go. Let go to what hurt me. Say 'enough' to those draining my energy. To stop wasting positive vibes with those that chose to dispose of my feelings and caring nature instead of saying a simple 'thanks' every now and then.
The first days were tough...today I felt the chain break. I felt the cycle deflate and disappear. Whoever in my life truly loves and cares for me, also wants me to be happy. If this is what I have to do to be happy, you will understand and be proud of me. My life will not be limited by my own insecurities. I am not perfect, and that's okay. I'm not exotic or petite, but I am beautiful in many other ways you can't buy. I am not a brilliant mind...but I am an active one, an open one and that, too, is worth more than I gave it credit for before. Once I say 'I love you', even if it's not romantically, you will have me for life. My love, my help, my heart....forever. I will cry with you, build your new house with a smile on my face, help you change a flat tire or even just sit and shoot the shit every now and then.
But, with this change, only one thing I have to say to you. I am not begging. The 'me' that begged for a friendship, for a hug, for a few words, for your affection is gone. I'll kindly and gladly step away. Life is good. New friends and old are valuable gifts. I, too, am a gift. Up to you how you want me from now on...all up to you.
I am a woman. I am a living being. I am your equal. Look me in the eyes, tell me the truth.
"this is how the story went...
i met someone by accident,
that blew me away.
you blew me away."
- Brandi Carlile
i met someone by accident,
that blew me away.
you blew me away."
- Brandi Carlile
Beautiful, friend. Simply beautiful and I am proud of you. Keep going, dear, always be happy and always be first in your life. <3
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