Peggy, The Ugandan Housewife (Old Rant, still annoys me lol)

There are TWO things in life, that utterly and just...wow yea I have no words for it. They annoy the living hell out of me. *ahem*

Exhibit (A): Random Yahoo IM's

You see last night I spent my valuable time in a books & literature chat room, which, was about as fun as watching amateur porn with fat people in it. ONE person out of the whole chat room was actually interested in talking about literature in general...the rest was an array of pedophiles, 12 yr old girls with ADD and my personal favorite, Ugandan/Indian guys looking for their match.

Ahh yes, here I was enthralled talking to my homeboy JesusG about Paulo Coehlo and Garcia Marquez and every gd 4 or 5 minutes I'd get an IM asking for a/s/l and saying I was beautiful and he loved me and he wanted to marry me. It was some indian guys...but mostly Ugandan dudes. This got VERY irritating, I had forgotten what Yahoo was like. Why on earth would I give you the time of day when the first words out of your mouth are 'hello you are the beautiful what is your name marry me i love you my name is hadji im from dehli'. ?????? As appealing as marrying a complete stranger is...do you have a 401K buddy? Will my hut have a jacuzzi? Please make sure you give me the correct information I will need in that initial IM that way we can pursue this further.

Exhibit (B): Telemarketing Calls

For the past 3 weeks I have been receiving phone calls from the same number, 973-834-0059. See? I even have it memorized. I have tried a multitude of ways to deal with it since I know it's a marketer.

Me: Hello??

Indian Lady with loud background noise: Hello Peggy!!! How are you today Peggy!!

Me: Um...this is not Peggy, you got the wrong number. *click*

(5 minutes later, phone rings)

Me: Yes?

Same Lady: Hello Peggy how are you today Peggy?!

Me: YOU GOT THE WRONG NUMBER, PLEASE TAKE ME OFF YOUR CALL LIST.

Lady: hello peggy is that you peggy?

Me: ...*click*

You get it, this goes on for a few more calls until I just start ignoring them...which seems to piss them off so now theyre calling every 2 minutes. I set up my voicemail to tell that specific number that I DO NOT TAKE MARKETING CALLS, PLEASE TAKE ME OFF YOUR LIST AND DONT CALL ME!...

Which brings me to today...still getting calls, now ranging from 6:43 a.m. to 9 p.m. all from the same damn number. This morning I answered it all 3 times with a resounding "THIS IS NOT PEGGY STOP CALLING". They called YET again...so, the time has come:

Me: Who is this?

Guy: Hello Peggy, how are you Peggy?

Me: I said who is this?

Guy: This is Jared, with American Health Direct. Hi Peggy.

Me: Ok, listen "Jared" I have been telling you guys for 3 weeks to stop calling. Peggy passed away, you see she was paranoid that people wanted to find her...and when she started getting phone calls from you every 5 minutes she had a breakdown "Jared". Do you know what happened "Jared"?

Guy: Peggy?

Me: She dove into traffic "Jared" and killed herself. Because of you. So I would appreciate it, if you gave me your supervisor's info and your company's legal information so I can forward it to my attorney. And "Jared" I am holding you personally responsible for what happened to "Peggy".

Guy: Thank you for your time ma'am. *click*

So, the phone calls have stopped for now. I just hope wherever Peggy is now, she knows that I stood up for her. That I made the voices stop. Maybe she's met up with her Ugandan lover...true love and chatrooms will always prevail.