The Secret's In The Sauce

Last night was a quiet, empty night. I had no dreams, I simply slept.

Or so I thought, because as I sit here at work staring at my candle, I am being bombarded with images from last night's dream.

I dreamed of a bonfire burning green flames on the wet sand, and it was just me staring at both it and the ocean behind it. It was night, and not much else could be made out except the shimmering ocean reflecting the clear night above. I looked back at the fire and there was a body burning atop the driftwood, I couldn't see the face but I looked at his blackened hand and there was a wedding band around it. Instinctively, my hand raised to reveal a matching wedding band and something in the night whispered what I already knew. I was a widow. I sank in the sand and watched him burn, wondering why I couldn't remember his face and what would I do now without him. I threw my bottle of liquor at the fire, shattering it and making the flames leap up high towards the darkness.

I leaned in and kissed his burnt forehead, the fire didn't touch me for some reason, and said "I'm sorry". I felt as if I had made his life miserable to the end, and he died loving me more than ever before. The sound of footsteps and voice made me search around for a place to hide. Nobody should see me there, after all hadn't I killed him? Broken heart, cause of death. I couldn't hide fast enough, and I saw his friends coming up to the scene. The taller one saw me, and quickly ran to my side, pulling me close in a tight embrace. He was crying and asking me what would happen now. He looked in my face earnestly, solemnly, with eyes that searched for an answer or requested permission. For what? I looked away and into the flames, all that was left now was the ring sitting on top of ashes. That's all that was left of something that breathed, loved and existed solely for me. I looked down and my ring was gone, but I was still alive.

Nothing comforted me. So I just walked into the black ocean...and when the water reached my chin, having trouble touching the ocean floor beneath me, I kept walking and took a big breath of air before letting myself drift off.

Makes no sense. I guess that's why I didn't remember it when I woke up this morning. To be honest, it would've been better if it had stayed in my subconcious mind next to the countless things I can live without thinking about.

"A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it." - Oscar Wilde