I am counting from 1 to 10, repeatedly, seeing if the anger subsides. I vowed I would never write on here when I was either drunk or angry with somone. Yet it seems if I do not write, if I do not let out what I'm feeling this exact second...it's just a step back. Going right back to who I used to be biting my tongue for people that seldom deserve it.
So yeah, I'm pissed. The reason needs not to be put here. Why is everything an argument? A struggle? Everything has to be with snippy remarks and eye rolling. I'm beginning to envy the dude that just got stabbed by an orc's spear on t.v. He just let out his breath and died. Oh to let out my breath!
Positive things. Right. So yeah I have a new couch, it's nice and brown and soft. I got rid of all the old stuff my mom had left on the walls and put up new artwork, and got an earful from my dad who says my drawings are satanic (the dude is walking on a dark street with the city skyline in the background and a damn cigarette in his mouth). WTF does he want on my wall? A cross? No. I'm still moving around and trying to make it feel like it's a happening place. I have the task ahead of re-arranging my dvds, which makes me nice and mind-numb. (LOL @ "why does he hates poor smeagol?"). So...
I guess guitar lessons are going good, the weather is getting cool'ish and rainy and I'm hungry. I have a few things I'm working on besides reading...like my book and a few poems/micro fiction. Not that they're any good but hey! it's free therapy. I think I'll be back later, who knows/cares/needs to know.
p.s. this is one of the art pieces im putting up tonight, done by an old 'friend' of mine Chris Raymond.
"For everything you do
Id like to swallow you
And everyday Im gonna blame you
Even if you justify
Every fucking bullshit lie
It only makes me want to break you."
- I Fucking Hate You - GODSMACK
So yeah, I'm pissed. The reason needs not to be put here. Why is everything an argument? A struggle? Everything has to be with snippy remarks and eye rolling. I'm beginning to envy the dude that just got stabbed by an orc's spear on t.v. He just let out his breath and died. Oh to let out my breath!
Positive things. Right. So yeah I have a new couch, it's nice and brown and soft. I got rid of all the old stuff my mom had left on the walls and put up new artwork, and got an earful from my dad who says my drawings are satanic (the dude is walking on a dark street with the city skyline in the background and a damn cigarette in his mouth). WTF does he want on my wall? A cross? No. I'm still moving around and trying to make it feel like it's a happening place. I have the task ahead of re-arranging my dvds, which makes me nice and mind-numb. (LOL @ "why does he hates poor smeagol?"). So...
I guess guitar lessons are going good, the weather is getting cool'ish and rainy and I'm hungry. I have a few things I'm working on besides reading...like my book and a few poems/micro fiction. Not that they're any good but hey! it's free therapy. I think I'll be back later, who knows/cares/needs to know.
p.s. this is one of the art pieces im putting up tonight, done by an old 'friend' of mine Chris Raymond.
"For everything you doId like to swallow you
And everyday Im gonna blame you
Even if you justify
Every fucking bullshit lie
It only makes me want to break you."
- I Fucking Hate You - GODSMACK
i know/care/needs to know and I LOVE that song. Good luck with your new couch and your art. As long as you sit in your living room at the end of the day and love what you see and feel happy, its allll good dollface! <3
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