He's there, watching me.
I saw his golden eyes just a few seconds ago, peeking from behind that big tree trunk covered in snow about 10 yards to my left. He lowered his head, tentatively sniffing the ground below his wet paws, never losing eye contact with me. My eyes scan the forest around me quickly, it seems he's come alone. His tongue darts out quickly, licking snow off his muzzle and when the fog from my warm breath clears, he's no longer there.
Only then do I feel the cold wetness threatening to freeze my toes. I slowly lift my feet and start walking towards the direction I last saw it, my feet being swallowed in knee-deep snow. The blizzard is not stopping any time soon, the air around me swirling with oversized flakes, both soaking my face and clothes. The wind cutting, the sky darkening...I fear nothing. If he wanted me to follow, I would.
I just hear my steps, branches creaking under the weight of the wet snow, and then his growl. He's right ahead, I see his snow covered fur attempting to blend in with my surroundings...but he can't. I am looking for him. I will find him. For hours we've been at this game, with him letting himself be seen for a few seconds and me following his quickly fading paw prints when he's no longer there. Only his howl cuts the winter's silence. He IS alone.
He wants me to follow. He's slowing down his pace now, I see him all around me. One second sneaking under some bushes, then I feel his steps behind me and is right there, in plain view when I turn around to face him. His stance relaxed, I am not his hunt, he is my prey. I kneel down in the middle of the clearing, looking at nothing except his eyes. I am at eye level, my fingers digging into the snow to balance me. He is 20 feet ahead, undisturbed by my proximity and sniffing the air once again - his low growl more of a question than a threat.
"Come...", says my voice in a quivering whisper while my hand shakily outstretches towards him. He cautiously takes a few steps towards me as I try not to move, holding my breath, for this was it. Hours of chase, mind games, he was ready to take his next course of action. "Please", I breathe out towards him. I hear howls in the distance, coming from behind the pines that circle the clearing, and he too looks behind him as if hearing a quiet pull back to his world. He's leaving me, again. He belongs with them, not me.
He leans in and gives my fingers a quick lick just as I sink down on my heels, letting my air out in a long sigh. I stumble after him, for he's already darting back towards the loud howls. My knees give in and I fall into a hidden snow trap, my face struggling to look up from the ice. I just catch a glimpse of him looking over his back at me, before blending into the dark woods.
He belongs away from me. He was merely curious about me, but he will always be a world that is not mine. I lay on my back, breathing fast, listening to the flakes hitting the ground in a perfect sloshy rhythm. Geese fly overhead in a perfect "V", with my eyes following them but my thoughts finding a new path to go back home. I'm sure I'll see him again, running with his pack right past the field behind my cabin, like he does on occasion. He'll stare at my cabin for a few seconds and continue, maybe remembering that the pair of eyes staring at him behind a dusty window meant something to him in the past. The pack, it's moving on and he will follow.
This time, I will not.
"A girl is a person who screams at the mouse, and smiles at the wolf" - Shyam Kapoor
I saw his golden eyes just a few seconds ago, peeking from behind that big tree trunk covered in snow about 10 yards to my left. He lowered his head, tentatively sniffing the ground below his wet paws, never losing eye contact with me. My eyes scan the forest around me quickly, it seems he's come alone. His tongue darts out quickly, licking snow off his muzzle and when the fog from my warm breath clears, he's no longer there.
Only then do I feel the cold wetness threatening to freeze my toes. I slowly lift my feet and start walking towards the direction I last saw it, my feet being swallowed in knee-deep snow. The blizzard is not stopping any time soon, the air around me swirling with oversized flakes, both soaking my face and clothes. The wind cutting, the sky darkening...I fear nothing. If he wanted me to follow, I would.
I just hear my steps, branches creaking under the weight of the wet snow, and then his growl. He's right ahead, I see his snow covered fur attempting to blend in with my surroundings...but he can't. I am looking for him. I will find him. For hours we've been at this game, with him letting himself be seen for a few seconds and me following his quickly fading paw prints when he's no longer there. Only his howl cuts the winter's silence. He IS alone.
He wants me to follow. He's slowing down his pace now, I see him all around me. One second sneaking under some bushes, then I feel his steps behind me and is right there, in plain view when I turn around to face him. His stance relaxed, I am not his hunt, he is my prey. I kneel down in the middle of the clearing, looking at nothing except his eyes. I am at eye level, my fingers digging into the snow to balance me. He is 20 feet ahead, undisturbed by my proximity and sniffing the air once again - his low growl more of a question than a threat.
"Come...", says my voice in a quivering whisper while my hand shakily outstretches towards him. He cautiously takes a few steps towards me as I try not to move, holding my breath, for this was it. Hours of chase, mind games, he was ready to take his next course of action. "Please", I breathe out towards him. I hear howls in the distance, coming from behind the pines that circle the clearing, and he too looks behind him as if hearing a quiet pull back to his world. He's leaving me, again. He belongs with them, not me.
He leans in and gives my fingers a quick lick just as I sink down on my heels, letting my air out in a long sigh. I stumble after him, for he's already darting back towards the loud howls. My knees give in and I fall into a hidden snow trap, my face struggling to look up from the ice. I just catch a glimpse of him looking over his back at me, before blending into the dark woods.
He belongs away from me. He was merely curious about me, but he will always be a world that is not mine. I lay on my back, breathing fast, listening to the flakes hitting the ground in a perfect sloshy rhythm. Geese fly overhead in a perfect "V", with my eyes following them but my thoughts finding a new path to go back home. I'm sure I'll see him again, running with his pack right past the field behind my cabin, like he does on occasion. He'll stare at my cabin for a few seconds and continue, maybe remembering that the pair of eyes staring at him behind a dusty window meant something to him in the past. The pack, it's moving on and he will follow.
This time, I will not.
"A girl is a person who screams at the mouse, and smiles at the wolf" - Shyam Kapoor
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