I am numb.
What do I say here, that matters anymore, to anyone?
In one hand, I am encouraged and I have the RIGHT to say how I really feel. To be honest, to be blunt, to not bite my tongue for anyone...wouldn't that be considered part of being a confident woman? Of being real with you and letting you know exactly where you stand?
On another, people don't really seem to know how to deal with my honesty. With me telling them how I feel about them. They want me to pretend to be okay about something I'm really not okay, and they want me to read their minds sometimes when I have no idea what the hell is going on.
Communication. That's the key with me. I don't do clingy. But I do like to be valued, loved, appreciated. I want to know that I am missed. Communication. It takes 2 seconds, but makes me happy.
So here's the deal...I am a person of very intense feelings. When I say 'I love you' I mean it. I don't throw it around like it's the easiest thing in the world to admit. I am passionate about the people I care about, and will easily turn my back on the world to defend you. So, I give you the space you want and need. No questions asked. If I do ask, it's because because I want to make sure you're okay...that's it. I'm not forcing anyone to tell me what's going on. I'm not snooping. I'm not trying to 'push' anyone to do anything.
I'm simply me. Caring. Worrisome. Loyal. Forgiving. Yari.
So should I really be apologizing to you for worrying about you? Caring about you? Loving you? Should I be apologizing for feeling hurt when I am treated like some sort of disposable, back burner pal? No. I have the right to feel everything I do. It makes me human. Doesn't make me weak or needy or whiney.
I have so much...SO much to offer. I can be the best thing that ever happened to you, if you stop trying to just use me whenever it's convenient.
Choose your stance. Do you want me in your life or not? These past few weeks have been the ones ideal for people to disappear. So I recommend you do so now.
Because I'm working on making myself a better person every day, even if it doesn't seem like it. And if you weren't here when I was at my weakest, you sure as hell do not deserve me in your life at my strongest.
Stand back. Watch me go.
What do I say here, that matters anymore, to anyone?
In one hand, I am encouraged and I have the RIGHT to say how I really feel. To be honest, to be blunt, to not bite my tongue for anyone...wouldn't that be considered part of being a confident woman? Of being real with you and letting you know exactly where you stand?
On another, people don't really seem to know how to deal with my honesty. With me telling them how I feel about them. They want me to pretend to be okay about something I'm really not okay, and they want me to read their minds sometimes when I have no idea what the hell is going on.
Communication. That's the key with me. I don't do clingy. But I do like to be valued, loved, appreciated. I want to know that I am missed. Communication. It takes 2 seconds, but makes me happy.
So here's the deal...I am a person of very intense feelings. When I say 'I love you' I mean it. I don't throw it around like it's the easiest thing in the world to admit. I am passionate about the people I care about, and will easily turn my back on the world to defend you. So, I give you the space you want and need. No questions asked. If I do ask, it's because because I want to make sure you're okay...that's it. I'm not forcing anyone to tell me what's going on. I'm not snooping. I'm not trying to 'push' anyone to do anything.
I'm simply me. Caring. Worrisome. Loyal. Forgiving. Yari.
So should I really be apologizing to you for worrying about you? Caring about you? Loving you? Should I be apologizing for feeling hurt when I am treated like some sort of disposable, back burner pal? No. I have the right to feel everything I do. It makes me human. Doesn't make me weak or needy or whiney.
I have so much...SO much to offer. I can be the best thing that ever happened to you, if you stop trying to just use me whenever it's convenient.
Choose your stance. Do you want me in your life or not? These past few weeks have been the ones ideal for people to disappear. So I recommend you do so now.
Because I'm working on making myself a better person every day, even if it doesn't seem like it. And if you weren't here when I was at my weakest, you sure as hell do not deserve me in your life at my strongest.
Stand back. Watch me go.
If anyone needs you to post this in order to think about these things, they are not worth your time...at all.
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