Why are YOU running?

The squeaky hamster wheel, noisily going in fast circles. You'd think the poor little critter would realize it's getting nowhere no matter how fast it runs. It's life is not moving forward. There is no real reason for it's tireless race, yet it's something mindless and automatic to do, in order to feel something is being done in life. Instead of laying over and waiting for things to happen, I guess.

We all run from something, at some point or another in life. Maybe the expectations we set for ourselves were met and we became bored with our reality. Perhaps the path we chose to run in was based on a decision with our head, not our heart - or vice versa. Routine and apathy can completely ruin a relationship, jealousy can demolish it. Are you giving someone a reason to be jealous? Feelings don't just appear out of nowhere. Resentment, frustrations from work, I could go on and on. Or maybe we just like the thrill of the run. It makes us feel alive. Sometimes, the realness of our feelings shakes us to the core. Consumes us with 'what ifs' and fear. Naturally, it's easier to run away from it than face it. Leaving behind countless of burned bridges, or stories without closure.

With everyone we meet in life we are either the runner or the refugee. I've been the runner, and in a way still am. However, I keep mistaking my refuge. My tower. My safe place. Somewhere I don't have to run from anymore. I keep running into other runners, which forces me to stop on my tracks and become their safe haven. I am here to provide them love, devoted care, someone to lash out to when they're having a bad day (it happens, I understand) or simply a place to rest the weight they're carrying. I don't mind, except, you guys know how I am.

I live for caring and loving others. I see you hurting, and don't even know how to NOT hurt with you. It's none of my business, none, what you're going through. But it IS my business that someone I love is hurting or being hurt by someone. It doesn't matter if my parents rule my life through guilt trips, or if my friends use me only when they have time and no one else to run to...I will always be me.

But it hurts me when you continue on your race, and run away from me. Because I provided you with the best I could give you, no questions asked. I only hoped for you to open up to me and see that I really DO just want to make you happy.

It really is okay to run. We all have to, in order to survive and evolve into what we may become someday. It just sucks we use people as stepping stones, when we could easily take them along for the ride.

I've been running. I need a place to stop and rest. Can you be mine, for a change?

I don't want you, to give it all up

And leave your own life, collecting dust

And I don't want you, to feel sorry for me

You never gave us, a chance to be

And I don't need you, to be by my side

To tell me, that everything's alright

I just wanted you, to tell me the truth

You know I'd do that for you

So why are you running away?

Why are you running away?

Cause I did enough, to show you that I

Was willing to give, and sacrifice

And I was the one, who was lifting you up

When you thought your life had had enough

And when I get close, you turn away

There's nothing that I can do or say

So now I need you, to tell me the truth

You know I'd do that for you.