Not my kid, not my problem?

Oh my dear, dear balloon boy.

As most of the world is aware of by now, sometime today there were reports of a 6 yr old boy from Colorado that had apparently floated off into the unknown in a home-made flying saucer looking balloon.

In the beginning we watched the headlines in horror. Poor child! How could this happen? Who would invest their time in home-made UFO's? Is he okay? So many unanswered questions! So much anguish...yet, I'll admit I laughed when I first read the headline. I didn't think it was too serious, I pictured the kid holding a bunch of helium filled balloons just being tugged away with the breeze. I've been called cynical. I've been told I'm not a 'kid-friendly' person before. I do like kids, I just tend to dislike parents who don't believe in any sort of discipline. So yeah...anywho!

Details started emerging of the aerodynamic child and his family. A little insight into the situation. First off, the family was featured on one of those pesky reality shows that make me want to wash my eyes with bleach after 3 minutes, called "Wife Swap". The concept is pretty much that. They pick two different families, trade the wives for a week so they can either correct the new family they get or learn from them. In this case, this is what ABC (network that airs the show) had to say about such a lovely specimen of a family:

"Wife Mayumi (43) and storm scientist Richard (45) take their three kids, Bradford (8), Ryo (7) and Falcon (5), out of school to go on storm chasing missions to prove Richard's theories about magnetic fields and gravity. If conditions are right, Mayumi wakes her family by shouting "Storm Approaching, Storm Approaching!" into a bullhorn. The family sleep in their clothes so they can leap out of bed and into the storm-mobile. Richard calls Mayumi his 'ninja wife'; she maintains equipment, drives the storm-mobile, films tornadoes and waits with the kids while Richard jumps on his motorbike, heads into the eye of the storm and launches rockets to measure magnetic forces. At home the family are as chaotic as a twister: the kids have no table manners and throw themselves around the house, and while Richard devotes every moment to his research, he expects Mayumi to cook, clean and run the house without any help."

Charming. I mean, I'm all for science and having a healthy family life. It seems like a cool thing to chase storms, I've always wanted to try it. I wouldn't take my kiddos along at such an early age unless it was relatively harmless, but hey that's MY decision right. I do have a problem with the father's obsessive behavior and his lack of involvement in kind of, at least teaching the kids some sort of manners. Alas, I am used to this. Not my kid, not my problem...kinda.

So! The world followed the damned thing on the news. Ooooing and Aaaahing as we saw it wobble. Wondering if the little lad was okay. Eventually, they brought it down and to everyone's surprise, it was empty. No kid. Everyone went into a panic thinking the little homefry had fallen off the thing and cracked his tiny noggin somewhere along the way. Not I. No sir. Nope. My brain betrayed the last 'nice' comment or worry I could've had for little Falcon (yes, that's his name. Falcon. As in bird. As in fly. Oh the humanity!). I immediately thought, "That little pecker is hiding somewhere at home! He's fine! Oh my GOD. The taxpayer money!"

Last we heard, Falcon was found at home hiding inside a box in his attic. You know what? Fine. I was glad he was okay. That's not what made me mad. Kids will be kids. Understandable. But something tells me he's not gonna even get a single stern word from mom and pops. Nada. Zero. Hell he can get away with anything any other day, this is just another adventure. My parents would've peeled my hiney if I even attempted to pull a stunt that would worry all my loved ones and make them wonder about my safety.

Here's your pat on the back little man. Glad you're okay, and next time? Oh next time steal your dad's storm chasing truck and go after a storm all by yourself and just as you're about to get sucked up by a tornado...JUMP OUT! Jump out and hide! Make us all look around for you and look to the skies to see if you've been dropped far away somewhere in Kansas. When we find you, we'll just hug you again and be glad you're okay. We'll shake our heads and say "these darn kiddos" with a giggle and go home and continue letting you do whatever you want to do forever and ever.

Oh and don't say sorry either, that's just unecessary.