Fireflies and Pink iDogs

Things are getting slightly better, or maybe I'm allowing myself to think positive for once. As overwhelming as all these feelings seem at the moment, I'm trying to focus on the fact that things don't have to be harder just because I'm afraid to let myself be happy someday. The time will come in the future for bigger decisions, changes and acceptance of new situations. I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.

I decided to go back to the shrink, next Friday. Giving him only one visit to fix me was probably the worse of the decisions I made, since it catapulted me into a deeper hole I was already in. So, time to at least attempt to help myself. The answers might not be what everyone, including myself, want to hear/know. I hope I am not hated for my future decisions, since it is not my intention to hurt anyone in the process of me feeling better. But it all starts with being honest, with myself and others. We'll see how it goes.

Shanidy has her pink iPod touch hooked up to her very pink iDog. The song "Fireflies" by Owl city came on and it sort of reminded me how awesome it is to have something to look forward to. Makes you want to live another day. I'm not saying I felt that, but it definitely cheered me up some.

Until then, I gotta keep on keeping on...like my good friend Joe Dirte said.

I am trying

Not to tell you

But I want to

I’m scared of what you’ll say

So I’m hiding what I’m feeling

But I’m tired of

Holding this inside my head

- Falling for You, Colbie Caillat