I went to the doctor yesterday for a full blown assessment. First time I've been to someone to handle my diabetes properly...
My labs show my A1C levels are at 13.3%...they should be under 8% in order to not be injecting myself with insulin. So before throwing me to that...the doctor has put me in a 1500 calorie diet. No pork. Avoid sodium. No whites: rice, bread, crackers, tortillas, pasta. Only 2 fruits a day. The rest has to be vegetables and 10 grams of grilled poultry or fish. My Metformin was increased to 1000mg, twice a day. My Actos to 45mg. Another one called Onglyza was added to my repertoire. As I type this, I want to cry.
I am 26 years old. ...You know what. I'm not even going to go there. I did this to myself. I have the anger one gets when one is starving, but is hours away from eating. I have that constantly as it is, now with the diet it's tenfold. Here's to not dying before I'm 30. Here's to not hurting like I do every day, in every way. Fine shape I'm in.
And then, some days, you really shouldn't listen to music.
Load the car and write the note
Grab your bag and grab your coat
Tell the ones that need to know
We are headed north
One foot in and one foot back
But it don't pay, to live like that
So i cut the ties and i jumped the tracks
For never to return
Ah Brooklyn Brooklyn take me in
Are you aware the shape I'm in
My hands they shake my head it spins
Ah Brooklyn Brooklyn take me in
When at first I learned to speak
I used all my words to fight
With him and her and you and me
Oh but its just a waste of time
Yeah its such a waste of time
That woman shes got eyes that shine
Like a pair of stolen polished dimes
She asked to dance I said it's fine
I'll see you in the morning time
Ah Brooklyn Brooklyn take me in
Are you aware the shape im in
My hands they shake my head it spins
Ah Brooklyn Brooklyn take me in
Three words that became hard to say
I and love and you
What you were then, I am today
Look at the things I do
Ah Brooklyn Brooklyn take me in
Are you aware the shape I'm in
My hands they shake my head it spins
Ah Brooklyn Brooklyn take me in
Dumbed down and numbed by time and age
Your dreams to catch the world, the cage
The highway sets the travelers stage
All exits look the same
Three words that became hard to say
I and love and you
I and love and you
I and love and you
Grab your bag and grab your coat
Tell the ones that need to know
We are headed north
One foot in and one foot back
But it don't pay, to live like that
So i cut the ties and i jumped the tracks
For never to return
Ah Brooklyn Brooklyn take me in
Are you aware the shape I'm in
My hands they shake my head it spins
Ah Brooklyn Brooklyn take me in
When at first I learned to speak
I used all my words to fight
With him and her and you and me
Oh but its just a waste of time
Yeah its such a waste of time
That woman shes got eyes that shine
Like a pair of stolen polished dimes
She asked to dance I said it's fine
I'll see you in the morning time
Ah Brooklyn Brooklyn take me in
Are you aware the shape im in
My hands they shake my head it spins
Ah Brooklyn Brooklyn take me in
Three words that became hard to say
I and love and you
What you were then, I am today
Look at the things I do
Ah Brooklyn Brooklyn take me in
Are you aware the shape I'm in
My hands they shake my head it spins
Ah Brooklyn Brooklyn take me in
Dumbed down and numbed by time and age
Your dreams to catch the world, the cage
The highway sets the travelers stage
All exits look the same
Three words that became hard to say
I and love and you
I and love and you
I and love and you
1. Don't be so hard on yourself. you've been through a lot.
ReplyDelete2. just do the best you can. peanut butter on apples and celery is yummy. carry around vege finger foods, i guess. The BLT salads at Wendy's are to die for, btw. i used to get one every day on my way to work. (grilled chicken, bacon, cheese etc.)
3. I wish i could help. I send you love and hugs and kisses and wishes to be where you are.