“Oh what a tangled web we weave, When first we practice to deceive”. Sir Walter Scott
Oh you, you lying sack of human waste. You were so useless, so vile, so heartless...it is hard for anyone else in my life to ever come up to your level of sickening lies.
Where do I even begin with your story. It's simple. You lied. Every word. Your name, your age, your intentions. I must've been easy bait. Yes, I was jail bait. Still, you went after me like the biggest trophy to be possessed by a man. You hid behind your carefully crafted identity. You said you were 21, I thought you had the most beautiful smile ever. You asked me how long had I been online, I answered "A week". I can picture your black eyes gleaming like the soulless, death-like eyes of a shark. You freaking sick pervert. How did you like 15 year old Yari who didn't know people online lied? She was tasty. She offered everything freely to you, and lost all dignity. She gave you what she would've never given anyone else, even after marrying them. You sick, diluted, sociopath. How DARE you use your son's photo to pose as you. You even used your granddaughters as your own twin daughters! Oh the single parent, with the 'bitch' of an ex-wife and the endless list of catastrophes that always seemed to happen to you. Do you realize you were my first 'real' love. You weren't a screename, or a series of images. You were my first full blown, skip in my heart, spring in my step, marry you right now love! You sat there and you LET me believe all you spewed. Oh we were running away and marrying right after I turned 18 were we? As soon as I graduated High School we'd run away to Germany to your family's house, right? You even had your twin granddaughters call me 'Mommy' on the phone. SICK. FREAK. You told me to do unspeakable things on the phone, online, on webcam. I lost my parents' trust over you. I lost myself. I killed the Yari that could've been.
How can I forget to address this, dear 'Ronnie'. Your lovely phone calls, going through some sort of tragedy. First your dad has a heart attack...right. So how else would you 'grieve' said fake tragedy other than calling your 15 yr old gf who believes anything and telling her you were blowing your head off. Oh yeah, then disappearing for 3-4 days. Do you have ANY idea what I went through every time you threatened to harm yourself? Here I was, on the opposite coast of the US, locked up in my room going insane. I'd cry myself to sleep, wake up shaking and checking my computer frantically for any news of you. I couldn't even let my parents know what was going on, because our love was forbidden...you at 21...I at 15. LO-freaking-L. Everyone around me knew you were yanking my god forsaken chain. I mean your dad 'dies', your sister gets 'mugged and raped', your ex 'takes off with the girls', your mom gets stricken with 'cancer'. All in a year's period? Wow. Some luck. Oh yeah, your truck got stolen, your house burnt down with you in it...and you have the awesome power to heal and call me from the hospital a few weeks later. Just typing all this makes my blood run cold and moreover, makes me want to hop in my car and drive my ass to California and beat the living daylight out of you.
How did we end...Let's share it with the world, shall we - dear? In May, 2001, I was shipped off to Puerto Rico after my parents found out about us. They figured no internet and no cell phone would teach me a lesson and break us apart. No way! Not us! I'd sneak into my cousin's laptop and talk to you, not to mention I gave you the phone number to the house I was staying at, and you'd call in the deep hours of the night. Then you didn't call anymore. No emails. A day. Two days. A week. Our last conversation had ended with you screaming "I'm going to end it!", while I pleaded for you to hold on just a little longer. I didn't eat or sleep until I heard from you. My parents called from Pennsylvania daily and would yell at me to come to my senses. Until I got an email, two weeks later, end of May, from your 'sister' that stated the following (Oh how I wish I could forget it): "Yari, Ronnie died in a car accident. We are burying him in Germany. Is there anything you want said at the funeral?" My cousin says I screamed. I just remember laying on the floor of my room, back at my grandma's house. My friends were there, Tatiana was fanning me and stroking my hair, Rebecca was rubbing my back and shushing me while I wailed my heart out. They both looked like they pitied me, like they knew I was going through something I didn't need to. Like they saw right through your lies. They were right.
Let me explain to you, darling, what the following two months were like for Yari, ok? You were in my every waking thought, then haunted me in my sleep. Your voice, your laughter, your words replayed in my head until I was tired of going insane. I sliced my wrists 4 weeks into it, just to stop the hurt your void left. Stupid, silly girl. My friends left me alone, because I asked them to. My parents shipped me back to PA, and I spent the summer in the attic (my bedroom) avoiding them. I lost 75 lbs, ha! me!, and started abusing alcohol. My mom blamed my dad for putting internet in our home...my dad blamed my mom for not watching what I was doing all the time. I blamed myself for their separation and divorce. I looked at your picture on my PC screen until my eyes hurt, and I missed your AOL IM window, with the navy blue background and bright yellow letters. I re-read your emails over and over, looking for something I had missed or maybe for you. I found you. A new email, from you, in August. Wait...what? "Yari, I was in the hospital this whole time. I'm better. My sister doesn't like you and wanted us to be apart so she typed up that lie. I'm okay. Please let me talk to you." Wait...what? WHAT? You mean to tell me I almost killed my stupid ass over you? Over a lie? That you put me through this for nothing?
Hey Ronnie, guess who had friends in the right places? Guess who figured out your real name and where you lived? Guess who found out you were really 41, VERY married, with 3 kids and 2 granddaughters? Hell hath no fury like I did, right then and there. I told my parents everything, they reported you to the authorities and you were charged as a pedophile...remember, honey? I ruined your public record, sweetie. You were a disgusting excuse for a man, and now the whole world knows. This is what I should've told you, a long time ago: You stuttered on the phone like a retard, your kids are gonna be ruined because of you, your wife is equally sick for defending you, you - babe - are scum of the earth. No amount of money and forgiveness will clear your name from what you did. You taught me a hard lesson, and I paid for it. But I took you down with me.
You are the only one, I miss NOTHING about. EVER. When your memory crosses my head, I think of how badly I want to stab your eyes out and shove them up your ass...for the side of me you saw, that I gifted you and you didn't deserve.
Hey Ronnie, go die in a real fire. Go really blow your head off. Go get in a wreck and die. Go OD on something. I spit on you. Spit! Lulz.
Song: Breakfast After Ten - Blue October
No comments:
Post a Comment