5.25.2010

Owning Up, Growing Up


I find myself making a lot of excuses for people lately. For their behavior, their actions, their emotions or lack thereof.

This shouldn't be my job anymore. I shouldn't try to find reasons for what they're doing or not doing.

I no longer believe anything said to me. Whatever was promised, planned, whispered to me...not a word of it. Because in the end, they're just words. Words said out of the need to fill the silence. Words said that you thought I wanted to hear, but you never really felt. Words that you spit out, scrambled to get out quickly before you really had the time to think about the impact they would have.

I'm done making excuses. Actions do, in fact, speak louder than words ever will. What you do, is not letting me hear what you say. You words are sweet.

Sweet poison. I die a little more, each day. But it's okay. It's the kind of death that makes me stronger. The kind of death you are bringing upon yourself, because you will end up alone. With your 1,001 reasons as to why anything is never your fault.

I will keep smiling. I will keep acting like everything's okay. That seems to make everyone feel better. No one likes someone honest? I can do it. You keep on thinking everything's cool.

Trust me. Everything's cool. *smirk*

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