Edge

I've been going for weeks now. I'm getting more sleep, having less nightmares and even daring to go out on the weekends. But right now, I feel tired. I feel lonely, even though I'm never alone and I'm not sure I want to even write anymore. Who reads? Who cares? It's no longer cathartic.

I'm very hungry, and once again, my bank account is in the red. So cookies and a hot pocket for dinner it is. Better than nothing. Way better than nothing.

I feel like I'm standing at the edge of a cliff, looking down at the ocean. I'm not afraid of falling or being pushed over. I just want to jump, and feel the water wrapping around me...going further into the depths of murky water. Cold water. Black all around me. A few struggling breaths, but such a sweet release.

Thank you all, for reading. Even if you pass judgment by what's written here...even if you feel the urge to label me or think you know what I'm all about. Thank you.

May your lives be full of love, brightness and warmth. Of eyes that only live to look at you, of ears that exist to hear your voice and lips that would die without at least uttering your name once in their lifetime.

Blessed be.