Undead Apes

I'm sitting here like a dork before going to bed, my body very exhausted but my mind as usual running running like a little hamster in a squeaky wheel. I'm watching a documentary on Animal Planet on tarantulas, and I really shouldn't as I tend to dream about the last thing I see at night.

Last night was horrible, it took me a bit to fall asleep...and when I finally did the most realistic never-ending nightmare ensued. Before I tell you about my nightmare, I must share with you that they're showing the doctor on t.v. that's gonna talk about tarantulas, and for some reason he's in the middle of a desert landscape in full karate gear doing strange moves for a rather obese fella. What that has to do with tarantulas remains to be seen, I'll let you know.

Anyways, my dream started rather normal with me sailing on a Spanish 15th century boat...and I was a captain. I was just shouting orders and telling people which side of the boat was which and how to set sail and the sea around us was just a beautiful shade of teal with little white foam tips shining as far as the eye could see. So here I am, captain of my own boat, pulling into a sort of port where Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are waiting for me with their new baby in their arms. They wanted to see the boats and needed someone to watch their new baby boy, who I should mention, as I got close turned out to be a baby orangutan in a onesie. A pale yellow onesie. Yes, this is a normal dream to me, whenever I'm not having the recurring wolves nightmare I usually have.

Right, so as I'm rocking this baby monkey Cruise-Holmes in my arms and trying to make it fall asleep...I'm suddenly walking in a hospital hallway and everything has vanished from my previous peaceful dream.Now I find myself seeing everyone from patients to doctors to visitors running in a panic around me, past me...away from me. While this happens, I hear a low groan...correction..groans and scuffling behind me, and panic takes a hold of me. I look behind me and zombies that were a mix between the movie 28 Days Later and Resident Evil are swarming the hospital. I start running after the crowd, apparently everywhere we chose to hide was already crawling with the undead and slowly the crowd of normal humans, such as myself (hey i was normal in this dream, gimme a break), keep dropping like flies. I run out the staircase, and make it to the next floor down before realizing they're already flooding the rooms below me and almost catch me on the stairs.

Bad move Yari, should've stayed in the floor you were...there's even less regular people on this floor and scores of flesh eaters running all over the place. This is the point of the dream where I realize this is a damn dream, and I'm trying to change the outcome...failing miserably. Why won't I wake up? I run into a men's restroom and there's a zombie coming out of the stall (his pants were up and he had flushed thankfully) and trying to grab me. I kick the door in and he falls back inside the stall at which point it magically locks behind him. He's kicking and banging in there and I say to myself "I better get out of here, all this ruckus is gonna alert the rest of them that I'm in here." So I run out and realize they're closing in around the restrooms so I run into the female restroom and check, double check, TRIPLE check under the stalls to make sure I'm alone. I see no feet, I'm safe. I quietly lock the door behind me and I hear a scuffle, I look down again and this time I see a pair of feet peeking from the middle stall and I'm too late to keep the little old lady trapped in there. This is horrible.

I KNOW I'm dreaming yet coming at me is a once sweet 80'ish yr old lady with half her face apparently decayed and blown off. Even in the dream I feel like crap about what I'm about to do. I kick her in the chest for her to fall on her back and I stomp on her neck and face feeling her crush under me. I just killed an old lady...well an undead old lady. When is this stopping!!!?? I already know I'm dreaming dammit when am I waking up? I don't know why at this point I decide to run out of the stall, out of sheer panic I guess. But yeah, bad move again, now there's about 6 of them surrounding me and they overpower me. Wake up. Wake up. Aren't you supposed to wake up at this point? I feel their mouths starting to tear me apart, ripping my fingers, biting into my neck and shoulder...sheer pain...my heart beating out of my throat more afraid than I've ever been.

I still don't wake up. One of them tears my ankle off, pain pain pain burning...gurgling as the other one bites into my throat and takes a chunk off. There goes another finger. So much blood, so many teeth. Last thing I remember doing is clutching my cell phone so hard in the remaining hand that it starts beeping and ringing and they are taken aback long enough for the 'men in white space suits' and the army dudes to blast em off me. I feel the good guys gently put me on a stretcher...I'm in so much pain...my breath full of gargled blood. Why have I not woken up, this is a dream. I feel them stick a needle in my arm and put an IV on. Some doctor looks at me and says "its too late for her, put her down"...I can't even scream and tell them I'm very much alive, awake. I see the army dude put a needle into the IV and intense burning...pain shoots up my arm into my heart and chest. Everything goes black.

I wake up.I have never had that happen to me before, even with my recurring nightmares I always wake up before the bad thing happens. As soon as I realize it's a dream I am able to alter it or wake up. What a crappy night. I've spent the whole day popping my fingers thankful I have all 10, yet reliving the feeling and sound of them biting into them and ripping them off.Phew. Thanks for listening, and by the way...there was no reason for that Dr. James Raven to do the karate kung fu dance in this tarantula documentary. Now I'm watching them shock the damn spiders with electrical wires in order to have them spit out venom. Huh...I bet Tom Cruise and Katie DO have a baby monkey.

"and if I could dream at all, it would be of you"...