Before I was born, mom says dad used to sing at her baby bump at night when they went to bed. Every...night. She told me that on a summer day in the 80's - the loudest baby girl in Mayaguez, PR was born and was creating a riot in the nursery at 2:52 p.m.They had tried everything-feeding, diapers, giving me to mom to coo at-and the nurses kept saying I was just being a fussy baby. So, at her wits end my mom handed me into my dad's arms...and the first thing he did was hold close to him and sing. I shut up immediately.
When I was 8 months old, my parents put me down for an afternoon nap. As they were walking out of the room and about to close the door, they heard someone whistling. My aunt was just arriving at the doorway too, she was coming to visit and she told my dad "stop whistling you're going to wake 'charo' up"...my dad assured her he hadn't whistled. They both heard it. So they just shrugged it off, and about 15 minutes later when they were having coffee in the dining room, they heard more whistling coming from my room...at which point they rushed into my room to see what was up. They all looked in the crib to see me whistling for the first time. I never stopped after that.
When I was a year old, I used to keep rhythm by tapping my foot on my carseat following the beat to my parents beat up radio.
Music. When everything else has failed, when everyone is gone, music has been my life. There's something about it that can fill a void once thought to be empty forever. It can move or break me, it can bring a smile to my face, a tear down my cheek, a need to dance around like a dork. My guitar makes things feel right, even if I'm not as good as I wish I was. My voice can express in a song (although it cracks and it's not even close to how good I sound in my head) my exact mood. When my eyes reveal nothing to you, listen to the songs I choose to play...they will speak volumes as to how I'm feeling that day.
Whomever I love, must understand this need and drive I have for music. Must understand why I can listen to a certain song 4 or 5 times in a row and close my eyes on certain verses or guitar riffs. Must understand what is happening inside my head and body when I'm hearing the only thing that makes sense in life...music. I can feel a strum from the tip of my fingers to the deepest part of my heart. It can make me feel like I can do anything. Music unites me with others, it's my companion...it's like poetry.
There's a song for every person I've met. Every single one of you that have crossed my life, has a song I associate with you. Some of you will be forever in my mind no matter how badly I want to forget you, because you embodied what one of my favorite songs was for eternity. When it all fades, when I'm old (if i make it that far), when I have children (if i have any), when I'm saying I LOVE YOU to someone...there will be a song. There will be a dancing soul. I will be alive.
"There's things I remember...things I forget, but I miss you, I guess that I should..."
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