The Ignorant, The Road Trip and

Week 2 of no sleep.

I'm meeting a lot of new people. I feel very far away from the ones that truly love me. I hope they don't hate me, for drifting away. My love for them has not diminished. I'm simply lost. I need to find my way back. Working on it.

I sometimes feel like grabbing some of you, by both shoulders and stare you dead in the eyes. To beg you to quit the act. To quit the BS and to just be yourself. It's maddening to know in my heart and in my head that you're hiding so many things, things I already know about you, yet can blatantly act like you honestly think you're that good at lying. The thing is, I wouldn't hate you or kick you out of my life, if you were simply honest. I'd appreciate the bluntness and probably stop having so many mood swings during the day. It's exhausting to have my head several times a day, point out small details or small pitfalls in your web of tales. It's tiring to play dumb, ignorant...for the sake of not losing people. So, in reality, it's not really worth it. If you have to pretend to not see things, it wasn't real from the beginning. It's not fair to either party. *shrug*

Alas, I need to realize I cannot change the world, nor the shitty people in it. I can only strive to cut down on the whining I put out and hope in the end, the true ones remain. What goes around comes around, so, there's always that to look forward to...

I'm headed to San Antonio this weekend for a girls' weekend away with Shanidy. I'm excited, nervous about meeting new friends and naturally, scared to death of getting shot. Friday I'll have lunch with her and friends, then hopefully have an awesome night checking out the scene (did I mention trying not to get shot?). Saturday, more hanging around, possibly shopping during the day, then going to catch a Twitter bud's band playing at a bar with some other Twitter folk. Should be interesting, and hopefully, I won't get shot or stabbed.

I am in love with the Droid X so far. I'm also going on a 2 week trip to Iowa again. I'll meet some Twitter folks over there too. (Seeing a pattern? I like Twitter folk, for the most part)

I'll have my laptop with me in Iowa, so maybe I'll blog a bit more of the scene from over there...you know, actually post up pictures. Plus I can blog from Droid now. Hell to the yes.

I'm so thug.

It's going to be alright.