Email #456098

Hey,

You'll prolly delete this one too. I don't care. It helps to send these and to write, so I'll keep doing it until I don't feel anything anymore.

I want to know how you were able to move on and forget a friendship so easy. How you can be there, on the messenger, and see me online and not even feel the remote desire to at least check in on me. How you can ignore emails that are begging from the bottom of a heart that cared so much for you.

You were my best friend. I looked forward to just kidding back and forth on Twitter, and to watching movies together on Netflix or talking about silly shit on text. That's the hardest part, knowing that I lost my friend.

I don't know how to watch The Office without tearing up and hurting. I can't even begin to know what to do with your copy of The Hellcats MST3K. It's in the box it came in, in the trunk of my car. I haven't opened it. I can't throw it away.

I know you're happy now, and I want to know how you did it.

It's been months. How is it not getting any easier? Isn't it supposed to by now?

It's useless to ask you for a brief hello, even though it would bring me a world of peace. Closure.

Anywhere you are in life, whatever you are doing, know that I think of you daily...more than once. I miss you, your smile, your voice, the way you twirl your hair while watching t.v. and how you're able to be the best friend I could've asked for. I don't know how long it'll take me to move on or to forget you. I'll never forget you, I guess...but I mean to not miss you like I do. But I guess I'll get there one day.

Until then I'll send these in hopes someone reads them. Someday. In hopes that you'll forgive me for not being what you needed, but still realize I want to at least be here for anything you need.

Hoping everything is okay for you, and that if it isn't, that it will be soon.

Yari