1.26.2010

Purge v 2.0


The day started pretty busy, but again the sense of sadness and the pang of solitude took over.

The thing is, why should I pretend to care or that I'm not mad. Act like everything is okay and nothing at all bothers me about people's behavior. Just because I gave up on reasoning with you humans, doesn't mean you are right. You're all grown ups who know what you're getting yourselves into and out of. Stop asking me what I think, because I'm running out of energy needed to humor you.


Why do I blog? To vent. Because when I attempt to vent, I am greeted with someone cutting me off and turning it into their issues. That's fine, I mean, I'm here to listen and all. But I'm just at the point where I'm angry towards it all, and I just might quit everything that proves to be a headache. It's unrewarding.
How many times do I have to go through the same things over and over, only to be tossed aside at the end because I'm not as 'fun' as I used to be, as 'dedicated and reliable' as I used to be or just plain ole slaving after you as I used to be.

Friendships require 50/50%. That means you listen to all the drama, but you also get to listen to all the good things. You're here for the crappy part, and you're also here for the awesome revelations. The triumphs.


Convenience. It all goes down to selfishness and convenience.
I am a lot of things, but I'll be damned if I'm either of those. I just want a body. Not even any words. Just the company. I'm tired of words. They're repetitive and stupid. I'm tired of people thinking I really AM that dense and blind and clueless.

I see through a lot of things, I just choose not to bring them up or confront anyone about them. Because people hate being told the truth, they toss and curl like a wounded creature. They lash back and vindicate themselves, in their little deluded heads. They've done nothing wrong, not poor little old them.

Sure. Go on believing that, and I'll go on pretending I don't know what you're doing.


They never learn. Neither do I.

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