It's 3 a.m. and she must be lonely...

The absence of wording in the past few days, does not correlate to a lack of general thoughts. Though, I really wish that were the case. What does a mind think of at 3 a.m.:

Should I rearrange the Minimates at work?
Did I close my HEAT ticket at work?
I'm so huge it's just depressing at this point.
I mean seriously, who'd look at me?
Stupid hair is gonna be flat on one side in the morning.
My back hurts, I need a new mattress.
I'm broke.
Did I pay the credit cards?
I'm broke.
I'm hungry.
I'm fat, so I wont eat.
Stupid diabetes, making me hungry all the time.
Stupid food making me fat.
Stupid fat making me diabetic.
Stupid diabetes, making me hungry.
What a cruel circle.
I'm never going to have kids.
I'd be a horrible mom anyways.
I wish I had kids.
I'm broke.
I want to go to New Zealand next year, visit Brendan.
I want to go to Cali again, last time we didn't have enough time.
Or maybe I can finally go back to PA and meet my goddaughter.
She's 3 and I haven't met her, what kind of godmom am I?
I'd be an even worse parent.
I hope Shante gets her back soon. Stupid baby daddy.
Baby daddy is such a ghetto term, I chastise myself.
I want a baby.
Baby's smell.
I'd have a cute girl, hair like mine. Name her ilana.
What if it's a boy?
They'll pick on him for being named Lestat.
But really like the world needs another lil boy with a spanish name.
Lil Carlos? Lil Jose? I don't think so.
Lestat Joel sounds nice when you say it in spanish.
But I'd have to move to PR so they can say it right.
My kid would melt in the PR heat.
I'm hungry.

So on...so forth. I'm exhausted. Going to go feed...because...well I'm hungry.