6.12.2011

Rednecks in Space


I was standing around the side of a road, sort of on a hill overlooking the town below. I hate when dreams start that way...because...there must've been a reason I was standing there. What had happened all the way up to that point that led me to be standing by myself on a rock covered road at dusk? Anywho...

A friend of mine walked up to me, and I could already feel the dread of having to talk to him. He annoyed me. He walks up and as I'm attempting to give a polite Hello, and starts choking me while shouting nonsense about me lying to him and betraying him. Even then, he's not scaring me. He just looks like a stupid kid having a tantrum because he didn't get things to go his way. So with all the anger I can muster, I stare him dead in the eyes and knee him in his balls and then step on his foot with my heavy boots. He let's go long enough for me to turn around and walk away, flipping him the bird.

Just then this pick up truck pulls up and I see some friends in the back and a bloodhound. I slide into the front seat and it's apparently either Woody Harrelson or a guy I used to date for a few months back in PA, Ryan. It keeps changing every time I look from him to the road. Most of the time it's Ryan. Anyways. We're zooming down the highway at an incredible speed...it's a gorgeous afternoon, where the sun is starting to lower and everything around us is covered in a bright golden haze. I felt happy. I reached over and held his hand, and looked at his tattoos. Again, it was Ryan so even in the dream I knew it had been almost 10 years since I saw him. "Your tattoos are awesome. I love that you ended up getting the full sleeve. I remember this one was my favorite", I said as I traced an old Celtic design he's had that laces through his knuckles and fingers. He just lifted my hand in his and kissed it, like he used to do, giving me a little wink. We kept driving and somehow crossed into Arkansas. We drove by a huge football field that had the Razorbacks mascot painted on the field and I said "Oh wow look...the Razorbacks...We should move to Arkansas, babe." He said "I'm not redneck enough to live in Arkansas", to which I started laughing and said "Look at you! In a pick up, with a fat girlfriend, a dog in the back seat and wearing a John Deere shirt driving through Arkansas! Can't get much more redneck than that!" He starts laughing and in that second he's Woody Harrelson wearing a beanie and much younger...early 20's?

We pull up in a mall in California, and he goes to pee and leaves his son with me. His son, which I'm assuming is my son too since he called me "Mom", drags me to a surf shop in which we look around at the clearance rack. I buy him a Billabong cap he wants and some Fox t-shirts. I want a black Roxy beanie with glitter for me, but know I can't spend the money. Just then Woody/Ryan comes back and tell us there's trouble. We hop in this...space ship and take off at warp speed, with me navigating us through galaxies at a time, with some sort of ghost lady popping in and out of my field of vision. We arrive in this planet, and I'm walking out in space...thinking "Am I dead?", as shooting stars fly around me. I walk inside the welcome lobby of said planet, and it looks like a high school. Nice.

I start running in and out of classrooms and they are all art classes. I walk into the girls' locker room and it's humid, steamy. I hear some chicks laughing and decide I can just go pee somewhere else. I don't want anyone to see me there. By then I'm running back to the ship, my son is pulling me along because the ghost lady is chasing us. As I'm running down a glass floor that has stars embedded in it, I look to my side and there's this sculpture of a box with two heads sticking out of it talking. I stop, and it's the heads of Groucho Marx and Dick Van Dyke telling jokes back and forth. The heads turn and smile at me and thank me for visiting. I laugh and hop on my ship.

At first the ship looks like the Serenity. I slide in the front seat and get her going, turning out of the planet and taking off into space. Woody/Ryan stood behind me and I leaned my head back against the chair so he could kiss my forehead as I'm flying us back home. I take in the view...the expansion in front of us. Open space with a planet here or there coming up quick in front of us. I press a button and we dish the outer shell of the ship and we take off like a blur in space, in a new ship that's the size of a small car, sleek, shiny.

We land back at home, back in the mall in California and Ryan says "Let's go get that beanie you wanted and go home"...and we sorta fade off in a sea of people. I stay behind a bit and noticed that now my boyfriend was missing a leg, and walking on a prosthetic one. I felt sad and wanted to ask him if he lost it in the trip...

I woke up. I felt sick to my stomach. It was Sunday.


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