I'm not Confusing...really...ish.

I am really not that complicated.

I am just my own worst enemy.

I am shy, despite the front I give everyone. Sure I am the life of the party, the comedian and entertainer...but what you don't know is that inside I am having the mother of all panic attacks and I am struggling to not faint. Meeting new people scares me because in my head what could I possibly have to offer that they would make me an asset?

I can't do large crowds, or walking in the mall. I feel like every eye on the place is on me. I feel out of place. Like millions of others in the world feel I guess. I am not unique. Sure I'm always putting myself down, limiting myself, playing down my good qualities...but today I got to thinking...I'm a pretty badass bitch.

I love so intensely, not like obsessive love...chill ok? I'm talking with anyone! Family, friends...significant other...I want them to see my heart...I want them to see I would never hurt them, ever. I rather suffer a billion times over myself than ever hurt anyone. I try my best to be a good person, to show my love every chance I get. I help all I can, as a friend, as a listener, as just plain ole company.

I am not confusing, just confused.