It's Xmas 2008, and I really don't hear much all day at work except Christmas songs...over...and over...and freakin over. Have any of ya'll actually paid attention to any of these songs????
So the guy sees you when your sleeping...knows when you're awake?! Is it just me or is Santa a tad bit on the creepy side. The idea alone of a big old bushy beard fat guy wearing a red fuzzy suit watching you sleep is enough to raise all pedophile flags available...and this is a jolly holiday song?!
Which brings me to my next holiday classic...Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer. Do you even need to know the lyrics to that to even feel depressed? Aww how cute, my lil grandmother coming over to visit and WHAM! Trampled to death by a woodland creature.
Last but not least, yes, you know I'm going there. Everyone's Jackson 5 classic, where he sees his mom kissing Santa Clause. Do I even need to begin dissecting the perturbed image of a child seeing his mother heaving and humping the dude that is supposed to be bringing peace, joy and toys? Maybe...well momma needed her own lil joy and toy this christmas. This year it was momma's turn to sit on jollybeard's lap. Maybe some heavy pettin in the back of the sleigh?
I'm serious! Are people so self absorbed by this ridiculous and ludicrous holiday to even pay attention to what they are celebrating and being happy about? So this holiday season, let's celebrate stalkers and homicides in the forest! Tis the season ya'll...tis the season.
Sexy Season...*howls*
Yeah, I always thought Santa was a little on the pedo side. He likes having children sit on his lap and tell him the things they long for, he hires employees who look like children, he sneaks into children's houses at night and leaves them things...
ReplyDeleteEither he and Ms. Claus are very, very depressed due to childlessness or Chris Hansen should be telling Jolly Ol' Saint Nick to "go sit over there".