There's mistakes...
and there's MISTAKES.
You were the latter. Although at least through you, I've gained more in my life than I ever thought possible.
Where do I begin with you? The thing is...I wasn't even going to blog about you. I was going to write it off as a lesson learned in life and move on. At some point up until very recently, I even thought I could stomach being part of your life again. If only...if only...
You see, dealing with you is like dealing with a stupid kid that lies about even the smallest of things. Just for the sake of lying. Because, surely you don't think the people around are STUPID enough to not see right through you and know exactly what you're doing and with who...at all times. That's the worst part about you, I think. That when you get caught in a lie or doing something wrong...you sit there with this retarded look on your face...like someone's talking Chinese to you and you just have no earthly idea what could possibly be wrong or what you did. It's maddening. Really. I've never wanted to beat someone until they're spitting up blood, curled up on the floor like the little pussy they are...like I've wanted to beat you.
Or maybe, just maybe, what I hate most about you, is that you feed everyone you meet this sob story. Trying to portray yourself as an honorable man who's put a lot on the line for the rest of us. Pretty much making up a fake persona in your head...that's nothing like what you really are. A stupid, dumb, idiotic kid who is ungrateful and cruel. A kid who wouldn't know what a rough childhood is. Sure, you had MINOR family issues...but don't we all? Don't all of us go through traumatic things and at least try to come out victorious in the end? You use mommy and daddy telling you what to do as a kid as an excuse to do vile, disgusting things to others. To people who have done nothing but back you up, through the hell you've put everyone through...in the end they're still there. THOSE are the ones you hurt, neglect, disrespect...I need to stop. Because there are no words for how low you really, really are.
To think that at some point I wanted to be in your life forever...that I wasted so much energy having faith in you, listening to you, loving. Love. You took from me things I can NEVER get back. I gave them whole heartedly to you...and it was your DUTY as an HONORABLE man, as a GOOD person in general...to not accept them, to be honest, to be a man.
You are not a man. You are a boy. You're a monster. You're a liar. You're a cheat. You're nothing but a whiner. Woe this. Woe that. People would kill to have the kind of chances you've been GIVEN in life. GIVEN. Handed to you. Without you having to do anything back but appreciate it and make yourself a better person.
Why did I write this? Because for a split second, I had hoped that maybe cutting you out of my life would have shown you that there IS such a thing as consequences. There IS such a thing as ENOUGH of you. I had hoped that losing a true friend, who above all else wanted nothing more than for you to soar in life the way I knew you could, would jolt you into realizing the world is a bigger place than you. Than your life. Than your whining and your tantrums.
Selfish. Asshole. Cold hearted monster. Those eyes, in which I thought I used to see love and kindness, now I think of them as clear pools where only pre-meditated horrors are brewed. Dead eyes. Like a shark.
Why ... indeed...did I take the time for this? Because during that split second...I actually considered trying again. Helping you again. Being part of the support system you turn your back on and hurt so easily. When I went to your Twitter timeline...I saw. Nothing has changed. You're still up to no good. You're still living your life inside a social network. Inside your phone. Texting this, tweeting that. You have no talk about college, life, bettering yourself. Just being your usual, childish...stupid self. Actually stupid. Acting stupid.
Did I mention, you were stupid?
P.S. You're not all that.
P.S.S. You're stupid.
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