I Wear No Pants

I really don't. Not when I don't have to. The way I see it, I came into this world pantless...so if I should die unexpectedly, I would also like to go pantless. Unless I die in my cubicle at work. That would suck. I don't want to leave the world in dressy pants and with a badge on.

I've never been able to decide if I like warm colors or cool colors more... in my surroundings, paintings (by me or others) and my projects. As a child, I leaned more towards oranges and reds - since they reminded me of my favorite painting as a kid, "Flaming June" by Lord Frederic Leighton. I had a chance to go see this painting several times in person, at the Museo de Arte in Ponce, Puerto Rico. I think I first saw it when I was 7 years old. They have it at the top of the stairs you walk up to the museum...greeting you. I stood there for a long time, thinking it was the most beautiful scene ever depicted of a woman. Sensual. Erotic. Soft. Warm. Peaceful. I wanted to be her. To have an orange dress. To lay there curled up, beautiful without a care...It still hangs in that museum in PR. Maybe I'll see it someday. She, too, refused to wear pants.

As I got older, I dove into the sea of blues, teals and purples. They always seemed to remind me of a far of dream I may have had. A happy feeling. Blues, greens, teals, purples...all made me think of fairies and weeping willows. I love weeping willows. My favorite tree...Monet. Monet loved painting willows in shades of blue and purple...soft hints of teal. Any time I see a weeping willow I feel like carving my name on it. Like writing a poem while laying under it. Like drifting off looking at it sway in the wind, carrying the name of my lover with it. I wrote a poem once, about a weeping willow...several. You know me. Hopeless dreamer. I dream in blue.

As of late, I find myself learning to appreciate who I really am. I am happy with the person Yaritza has become. I may be fucked up in multiple ways, but it seems I've learned to take from life what matters most. Moments. Beauty. Experiences. Memories. I over-analyze that which is often overlooked by most people. I don't expect perfection out of people. I don't judge or pick at their flaws. There's so much...awesomeness in things that just happen. In the unplanned. In the unrehearsed. Those are the things that make life. The things that show you when something is being done, said or given straight from the heart.

Expectations? I define them differently. While most of the people around me base their likes, dislikes, looks, ideas and actions on what's the latest trend or on what they've been taught as 'the norm'...I like to accept things as they are. Value them. They always teach us a lesson.

For example, I'm completely in love with this father and his daughters. It takes a lot of guts to sing in front of people...to let yourself be heard. Even if you don't sing pretty. Even if you seem nervous...what's more beautiful than a father and a daughter sharing this moment? They aren't doing it for the fame. They aren't thinking of getting her a record deal in ten years. He simply witnessed in his daughters the passion...the love for music that lives in him. So when I watch these, they never get old. Because I am not finding what's wrong with it...I am witnessing something few people have their whole life: Freedom to be themselves.

So I leave you with Jorge and his daughters Alexa and Eliana. Alexa does the best covers with him...and Eliana...well she got caught singing passionately...for a few seconds:

Eliana:

Alexa:

I want my chance to share with my kids what I think matters most. Not impressing people. Just being you...and like Alexa says...someday, they too will whistle.