Oh, Brother...

"Mom?", I whispered carefully, trying to not disturb the stillness of the night around us. The sun had set long ago and my mother had decided to curl up in bed with me to have a long poetry reading session.

"Hmmm?", she grunted back...slightly jumping at my question, as if my voice had ripped her out of the dream state she was falling into.

"Why don't I have a brother? Or a sister?"

A long pause lingered in the air before I heard her throat clearing and the familiar clicking of her tongue against her palate. This small gesture usually meant she actually had given the answer some thought before wording it in a way I would understand. As well as a 6 year old could understand the deeper topics in life, anyway.

"Well...", she began, "...I guess we're happy with just having you, Yari." She turned her face towards me and found a small, shiny pair of eyes staring directly at her...expectantly. She sighed and continued, looking at me..."Why do you ask?"

"All my friends have brothers and sisters. My cousins have brothers and sisters. Why not me?", I remember asking a bit more forceful.

"Because, Charola, it just hasn't happened. Besides, aren't you happy being the center of our attention? Being the only girl and the baby of the family? What if you had a little sister and no one payed attention to you anymore?", she reasoned.

I mulled over this question. I was the only child, which had it's perks. I was the youngest grandchild and the only female in a long parade of boys. The princess, so to speak. That, too, was good to have. I had my own room and I didn't have to share my toys. Comfortable living situation, indeed. But...

"What do you mean it hasn't happened? Have you guys even tried?", ever the clever child.

Mom shifted next to me a little uncomfortable and cleared her throat again. "Yes. But I can't have any more babies, Yari. Ok? The doctor says I can't."

Sadness and hopelessness crept on me like a suffocating blanket, but I would not cry. I swallowed and my throat seemed tight. Dry.

"What about adopting, Ma?"

She looked away from me and at the ceiling for a long time. Her lips parted slightly and she mumbled, "Dad doesn't want to."

"Why?"

"Because he says there's no way of knowing if that child has genes from their parents that would make them prone to being violent, alcoholics, hard to handle or sick...", she finished, quietly.

"What??!! Genes don't make people be violent. It's how their mom and dad raise them to be! What if their sick? We'll take care of them. I'm tired of being alone. I'm tired of not having someone to play with. I want a big brother to stop the other kids from picking on me at school, Mom! I want a sister to braid my hair or a little brother to teach how to play basketball! You guys shouldn't have had me so I could be a lonely kid!", I all but sobbed out.

Her hand quickly found my bangs and her fingers quickly went to work running through my hair, pushing it away from my face.

"Charo, you're not alone. You have lots of cousins and friends. Not just at school but here in the neighborhood. More importantly, your family can also be your friends. Your uncles and aunts, c'mon Yari, you always treat them like your buddies and they treat you the same. Your dad...me...we love being your friends. You're funny, fun, smart, sneaky and loving. So kind, Yari. You're like a little grown up...it's the weirdest thing.", she added, smiling.

"Besides, Yari, want to know what one of my favorite quotes says? Since we're being poetic and deep, little philosopher?"

I smiled in the darkness at the thought of me being a philosopher. I even pronounced the word slowly, half giggling..."fi...lo...so..fa"

"Yes, filosofita. The quotes says 'There exists companions disposed to break one another to pieces, but there exists a friend sticking closer than a brother.' Don't worry, Yari. You'll find friends that won't even make you miss not having siblings. Ok?", she smiled at me, slightly tickling my foot with hers.

I curled up laughing, and nodded into her chest...

And so it was. Through the years I've made friendships that I would not trade for a sibling. I've found people who I've developed such a connection with, bond, need for their affection and constant contact that it defies any logical explanation. Complete strangers that have no reason to have anything remotely in common with me...

When I have been in my darkest moments...there have been a handful of you to pull me out. You are my brothers and my sisters...or even better. Because you HAVE to love your family, no matter how they choose to treat you. I chose to love you and you guys chose to love me back, no strings attached, through it all.

For you, out there in the universe, thank you for adopting me. For the memories. I love you.

Oh, and Mom? I still would've liked someone to stop me from getting my ass beat daily in school. Hmph.