Dear Erin:

It's been two years since I last saw you...going on 3.

There have been highs and lows for both of us. Moments of intense joy and open communication...and long periods of silence...where we miss each other, yet, we know we're both okay.

I was talking about you the other day...about a particular memory I have of you.

My dear, you were always so sure things would end up okay in the matters of your heart. I had never encountered anyone so sure, serene, strong, certain that who she loved was who she was meant to love.

The world around you was stacking the odds against you. Doors were closing left and right. Lights were shutting off. Watching you love so intensely without knowing really where it was headed was scary, inspiring...but scary. You put yourself out there...because you felt it inside. You felt something inside you that no one else could feel. Something bigger, solid, strong...I couldn't see it...but it was as clear as daylight for you.

I look at it now...and I am in awe of you, my dear twin. In completely awe of all you've been through and continue to go through at times...but how it all just unfolded exactly as you were sure it was meant to unfold. I can almost see your wide smile and your eyes peering into mine, whispering "I told you so..." into my head.

I understand now...everything. That undying fire you felt...that feeling that no matter what you have to fight through, all will work out in the end...because the universe wants it to be. That feeling that this is what it's supposed to feel like, that this is worth fighting for because it is unlike anything ever felt. Peaceful. Calm. Even when the storm is headed towards you...staring you down..you know that through the pain...you'll emerge victorious at the end. It was worth it.

Today is your birthday, Daisy Jay. Erin. Twin. Plookie. Every possible name we ever had for each other. Today is the third year I've been a part of your life and you've been a rock in mine. I love you and those gifts you brought to the world, Cora and Emma. You're family. My family. I can only hope I can see you soon. I miss your eyes. Your strength. Your laughter. Your light.

Thank you for teaching me lessons. For preparing me. For being my heart.

Have a happy, peaceful birthday. You were right. You were always right. And it's beautiful.

Here's to you, me and Chief Brody...yumyumyumyum