To Whom It May Concern:
It is 2:17 a.m. on a Tuesday, January 24th. The year is irrelevant, since years float by like the fragment of a leaf being carried away swiftly in the turbulent current of an ageless mountain spring. I hope that, no matter where you are when you read this, you are happy and in relative peace with yourself. Life is short, many say...but have you really opened your eyes to see what this means? It means second chances only come once. It means every day is a clean slate...sure...we carry some things from the previous day with us or previous months...but technically, as soon as you open your eyes when you wake...that new day is completely in your hands. How will you choose to live those next unique 24 hours?
Me? I just got done giving my fishies a much needed bath. I spoke to each of them, as I they waited impatiently in their little measuring cup while I washed their bowl. Like you would talk to a child that won't sit still through dinner...so you promise them dessert or a reward if they just wait. A 27 year old woman, talking to her fish at 2 o'clock in the morning, while the rest of the world seemingly sleeps. Alas, the reason for this letter is not to dissect the many ways I am dysfunctional in a society that embraces even the most absurd of behaviors. No...
I write because, lately, there are words that have taken new meaning or perhaps regained new life. Love. Loss. Need. Lonely. Us. Promises. Dreams. Life. In a myriad of love songs created or poems written about the beauty of our surroundings...I never once felt that burning grip around my chest, tugging it down towards the pit of my stomach...longing. Not once did any word read compare to the bottomless abyss I found when looking in your eyes as you spoke of a long lost memory...your hands moving fast, accompanying the description you carefully laid before me. I write because I should be sleeping, but when I close my eyes...all I see, hear, feel...remember...is your beauty, your freedom, your words. Is this reason enough for a letter?
How else can I explain that when I think of you, my mind is overcome in an aurora borealis of heartbeats? That while you are off sailing seas of possibilities in a dream land where anything is possible...I am laying sideways on a cramped couch, with my toe uncovered and frozen, but with a huge grin on my face (albeit heaviness of the heart) thinking of when I'll get that jolt of life ... that breath of air again?
Time is all there is. Time both crawls by and speeds past us in a blink. But certain things, although evolving in many ways, keep their core. My heart remains untouched. My words may look the same, but imagine me reading this to you in a place where only we belong...and you'll see the words are non-existant...or not important...
But, for tonight, they had to find their way out into the universe. They cannot be contained or diminished. The fight will continue and the rewards will be worth every single thing that shows up along the way.
Life is short...But let's make it long.
Counting my heartbeats...or the ticking of Love's clock,
Yari
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