Crabby: Read and Act Accordingly

While speaking with a friend of mine today, he was explaining to me how he was a typical Aries sign as if somehow that explained how he is (which is confusing and mysterious and a puzzle and ever amusing). Right. Anyway, I realized I've never really payed attention to astrology stuff, aside from knowing I'm a Cancer and that I love to eat crab. I mean, my sign is a crab.

So, upon a more detailed examination of my Zodiac sign (Or reading the first Google link for 5 minutes), it turns out that I am pretty much every single thing a Cancer should be.

Read. Digest. Act accordingly and be nice to me, I'm a crab:

Element: Water

Ruler: Moon

Metal: Silver

Anatomy: Breasts (rawr)

Main Traits: Gentle, conservative, feeling, nurturing, defensive, contemplative

Description 1:

A crab is able to walk or run sideways. Similarly, Cancer natives can sometimes "move about" in life, in a figurative sense, in an indirect manner. The crab's body is covered by a carapace (shell). Cancer natives are self-protective and sensitive, and often retreat into themselves when hurt. Crabs are able to resist changes in the environment, thereby protecting themselves from hostile elements in various habitats. Similarly, Cancer natives are thought to avoid too much change, and to be on the defensive.

Cancer (me):

Moon in Cancer natives have a large potential to be able to get in touch with the feelings and moods of others.

Their memories of the past are outstanding, especially for all things emotional.

Cancer people are never detached—they cling to things, their home, and people they care for. They seek out security and familiarity in all they do. They look for peace and quiet. Their attachment to all that is safe means they are a little leery of change.

These peace-loving souls dislike superficiality in all of its forms. They are devoted and accommodating.

Because of their strong attachment to, and memory of, the past, Cancer natives tend to whip a dead horse. They may dwell on hurts long after everyone else has moved on.

When they feel they have been taken for granted (which may be often!), they don't always confront others directly. This is when they can use roundabout ways to get your attention.

One of the most delightful characteristics of Cancer people is their loony sense of humor. These people can be extraordinarily funny. Their moodiness can baffle others, but their unique outlook on life is something most people can appreciate.

When treated with tenderness and understanding, Cancer natives return the favor with warmth and protection. Give them security, and you'll take the crabbiness out of the Crab, at least for awhile.

These people are wonderfully dependable overall, despite their occasional mood swings. Make a friend of a Cancer, and you will be taken care of for life.

These people come across as gentle creatures. There's something familiar about them — they're the guy or gal next door. When they enter a room, they don't walk in with a splash. Instead, they move to the sides and weave their way inwards. These people have a familiar feel to them. Because they are rather sensitive to their environment, they can get flustered easily, especially in public.

Their first instinct, when threatened or on unfamiliar ground, is to protect themselves. When new situations present themselves, they can immediately withdraw or act shy.

Cancer people are looking for structure and security in their partner and their relationship. These people function best when their partner displays strength, financial and emotional stability, and know-how.

These people seem to resist change and to shy away from direct confrontations.

Their motto is "The best offence is defense".

Their sex drive can be very tied up with emotional need. At their best, they turn others on with a protective, almost therapeutic way about them.

These people are threatened by indifference. They can be argumentative.They have defensive reactions and bursts of emotional displays when they feel cornered.

With reassurance and confidence, these natives are protective, helpful, and dependable in the long haul. They prefer to handle situations peacefully and humanely.

Cancer men and women show their love by caring for you. They pay more attention to your feelings than your words, and observe you rather carefully.

These lovers are always worried they'll be left high and dry. If you've hurt them, they'll have a hard time forgetting. Every so often, they'll retreat into themselves (not unlike a Crab), and it can be difficult to pull them out. This is when they use their extraordinary "nursing" abilities on themselves, instead of you...

Recognize their attachments to their family and home. Help them to feel confident with you—when they are fearful of being rejected.

Well...then...who's still around? Lulz.