Dear Cora (and the kid in us)

Divorce is a big word for big and small, young or old. Big word for the parents. Bigger word for the children...

This is my letter to my twin's daughter, Cora - and to all those who come from parents that have divorced each other.

Dearest Cora:

How have you been, sweetheart? I've been looking through pictures of you and your paintings, and sitting in awe of how fast you're growing and how amazing you are at everything you do. Never change, never give up...you're so bright and will be able to be everything you ever dream of being.

A lot has happened since we last saw each other, a year and a half ago. I know mom and dad decided to do things separately, and that life at home has been different since that decision was made. It happened to me too, and it makes you feel a lot of things that you never felt before. Sometimes your tummy may hurt for no reason, or you may feel sick out of nowhere. Other days you just want to wake up and everything be how it used to be before. Mom and Dad in the same house. It's okay, Cora bean, to feel sad and confused from time to time. Some days you'll feel angry at mom, dad or both and feel like no one listens to you and what you want. But I want you to remember a few things ok?

Love is a beautiful, wonderful thing. The love two grown ups have for each other is different than the love a grown up has for his/her child. So, while you may have asked yourself what happened between mom and dad, what you always need to keep in mind is that their love for you hasn't changed. It never will. You and Emma will always be their babies. Remember, time answers all the questions you may have now that you don't understand. Remember, mom and dad sometimes make mistakes too. If they do something that hurts your feelings, they are not doing it on purpose. They are also waiting for time to reveal the right answer to them, for time to tell them what's the right thing to do. Remember, that both mom and dad love you so, so much...and you don't have to pick which one to love more. You can love them both. Remember...remember.

Be patient. Life gets so good and you will find that happiness is not where you thought it could be.

I know dad has been acting a certain way that makes you sad. He may be paying more attention to his new girlfriend or to other kids...but no one can replace you or Emma. Ever. I used to think my dad was my own superhero. Then he left our house, and mom and me behind. He started acting different and almost seemed like he wasn't my dad at all. I couldn't understand because I was his little princess. Now he was doing things that hurt. He disappointed me many times. I realized he wasn't who I thought he was.

Sometimes it takes us time as adults to realize we are doing something wrong. We get carried away by new emotions that we don't understand. Be forgiving. Remember, you still have mom who loves you every second of every day like no one will ever love you. You still have her to take care of you when you're sick, to listen to you when you're sad and feel like talking, to cuddle under a blanket and giggle. Don't think that you're doing something wrong or that you need to do more to make daddy be who he used to be. It's not your fault. None of this is your fault or Emma's fault. And while I know those things make you sad, let it bring you closer to your mom and little sister. You three need each other. Not only that, there's so many of us that love you and will always care and want you in our life. Your aunts, uncles, cousins. You have us too, like Harry, Shane and me. We want nothing but for you to grow up happy.

A lot of grown ups say that when a mom and dad go their separate ways, the kids grow up in a broken home. Don't listen to them. You and Emma have two loving homes, instead of one. Daddy will always love you, even if he can't show it in a way you can see it sometimes. And Mommy will always put you girls in front of everything. And we'll be there with you guys. It's not broken, you've actually gained more loving people in your life. Take refuge in Mom and us, and be forgiving of us, too. Never be afraid to tell anyone if something doesn't seem right. If you get a funny feeling that something is wrong. We're here to listen to you. To everything you have to say.

None of what happened was your fault or Emma's fault. You're both loved, wanted and making all of us prouder every day.

Keep drawing beautiful horses and playing with Emma and mom as much as you can. Be silly. Always be silly. Be yourself, because people love you just like you are. Try to keep all the happy times you have close to your heart. They will make the sun come out and shine on the rainiest day.

I'm proud of you. You are beautiful and so strong. I'll see you soon.

Love you very much and miss you,

Yari